A Middle-Aged Lady Introduction

Is that a hot flash or am I really excited to meet you?

We’re best friends now.

It’s me. I’m your best friend. When can we hang out?

Middle-Aged Lady Mom is your source for humorous, observational, and relatable takes on parenthood. If you can’t laugh you’ll… probably need to get that checked by a doctor.

I am very Photoshopped in the photo above. Fun fact: I paid the beautiful, wonderful, magical Dawndra Budd to take new headshots during the “growing out my bangs, for REAL THIS TIME” era. (It coincided with year 2 of Covid.) I gave up on them on the drive home from this shoot. So I only sort of look like this, but if you saw me in the wild and we’re actively looking for me, you’d probably still recognize me. Also who laughs like that? So stiff, but jovial? Anyway…

Why Should I Subscribe?

This is a newsletter for parents, friends of parents, people considering parenthood and want the down and dirty, and especially new parents. It’s all the things the birthing classes don’t teach and the advice I wish someone told me in those early months of motherhood when I was too plagued with anxiety, insecurity, and regretting my life choices (or at least that one night in October when I discovered Pineapple White Claws— heeeeeeeeyyyyyy!) to comprehend motherhood could be funny, let alone fun. It would have been so much easier if someone told me it’s really flipping hard, hormones— wow, just wow— no one knows what they’re doing, formula won’t kill your baby, nipple confusion is a stupid, but a funny concept to bring up if you’re giving a speech at your son’s wedding years later, and it will get better (and then worse and then sort of better and then bad again but in a much more manageable way and then pretty awesome and then they become teenagers so…)

“Ma’am. Your ability to channel the shit all us middle aged mamas feel is incredible, breathtaking, and a testament not only to your friggin’ phenomenal writing prowess, but to the soul-sucking-yet-unbelievably-amazing journey of motherhood.” — Maile A.

You should definitely subscribe if you:

• have a sense of humor, especially about other people’s kids

• are a parent and need a very low baseline to judge your own parenting

• are considering becoming a parent and want someone to talk you out of it

• just want someone to tell you you’re doing a great job (you’re doing a great job!)

Consider becoming a paid subscriber if you:

• think I should quit my day job (never!) and write this newsletter full-time

• were left a large of money that must be donated to middle-aged lady moms with the initials S.M. who like fostering old-ass dogs.

• orthodontics, man! What a racket! Wow. Just wow.

Oh look! An old-ass dog!

"It’s clever, amusing and mother’s can relate!!" — Lorraine M.

But who is This Middle-Aged Lady Mom?

Good question.

That’s me in the bottom right corner.

My name is Shelly Mazzanoble and I’m a middle-aged lady mom. I am in a museum in front of a statue that, according to my son, depicted “someone pooping out a foot.” Why wouldn’t I pose in front of that?

I am an award-winning author of essays, books, two unfinished novels, some short stories, and one-act plays. Most surprising I am someone’s mother. I love writing about reality TV almost as much as parenting (I even wrote a column where I mined The Bachelor for parenting advice (easier than you think.) Then there’s all the Dungeons & Dragons stuff (I know!) I’ve written four books about D&D: Confessions of a Part-Time Sorceress: A Girl’s Guide to the Dungeons & Dragons Roleplaying Game, Everything I Need to Know I Learned from Dungeons & Dragons: One Woman's Quest to Trade Self-Help for Elf Help, Welcome to Dragon Talk: Inspiring Conversations About Dungeons & Dragons and the People Who Love to Play It (co-authored by Greg Tito), and the upcoming, How to Dungeon Master Parenting: A Guidebook for Gamifying the Child Rearing Quest, Leveling Up Your Skills, and Raising Future Adventurers. I also co-host the official Dungeons & Dragons podcast, Dragon Talk. That’s like, a lot of D&D, right?

When not writing books with really long subtitles, you’ll find me here, tarnishing the reputation of newborns and writing about what it’s like to parent my beautiful, precious child who thankfully hasn’t added the word “litigation” to his vocabulary yet. But he will. Because he really wants a PlayStation 5 and doesn’t want to do any chores to earn it.

Thank you for visiting and I do hope you’ll consider sticking around, maybe getting in on that sweet free subscription action and if you’re feeling really flush supporting my work with a paid sub (friends with benefits?)

We’re like a family here. A chosen family. You’ll like my friends and they’ll like you. And you’ll become part of a tribe of cool people who like to laugh and support each other.

It takes a village, but more importantly, it takes a sense of humor.

"I am and will always be your biggest fan! Your wit + creativity + theater degree + your ability to bring household items to life = priceless!"— Kristina G.