The only thing I’m upset about is not being able to go snow shoeing with my family today because I’m still getting over pneumonia and some other virus. Oh, and that because everyone prepared a yummy homemade dessert for Thanksgiving no one is eating the $20 pie I bought at PCC.
If all else fails, hook eyes with the one person of your tribe also stuck there in the awfulness (for me, that’s usually my spouse). Find a pretence to retreat to a quiet space, sit there for a spell, roll and take a puff from an imaginary joint…
It was a social experiment! I thought surely someone will SEE this! Surely someone will SEE this and TAKE CARE of it but alas...it's now part of our decor! :)
This was amazing. I wasn’t really in the mood for the big extended, blended family get-together later today, but you’ve provided some incredible tips and reminded me that I can have fun with all this nonsense.
A story that’s sort of in the spirit of your post: My brother and SIL host every year. My SIL’s mom would bring a pie, and my mom would bring a chocolate cake. This went on for several years. Last year, my SIL’s mom asked my SIL (who was mortified) to ask my mom not to bring the cake. You see, it took attention away from her pie. Then we learned at dinner that my SIL’s mom got her pies at Costco. Which in and of itself is fine—they’re delicious—but you’re getting weird and competitive over a pie you didn’t even bake???
OMG!!! The nerve!!! you do not mess with in laws, blended holiday traditions, and DESSSERTS!!! Did she try passing off that pie as something she baked???? Like did she take it out of the giant pie box and put it on a giant plate and maybe rub some flour on her nose for good measure???!!! THE NERVE!
Shelly, how can I book you as my full-time festive family fuckery diffuser? We don’t celebrate Thanksgiving here in Australia but we still have to endure our families over the holidays. I can’t wait to try many of the methods you have described! Also very pumped for your week of no-pants festive stress relief 👏
No joke I’m actually scared to read your latest post! I just don’t even know how you can be that brave! And yes, you can absolutely book me, but I will have to live in your house. For six months.
I wrote a whole comment and then my husband started asking me questions about who diagnosed my ADHD and what their address is because he’s signing me up for life insurance at his new company (why would they need to know about ADHD? Is it a silent killer?!) and when I came back to substack my comment draft was gone. Now I’m paralyzed. Do I attempt to recreate it? Or is the moment gone?
The only thing I’m upset about is not being able to go snow shoeing with my family today because I’m still getting over pneumonia and some other virus. Oh, and that because everyone prepared a yummy homemade dessert for Thanksgiving no one is eating the $20 pie I bought at PCC.
If all else fails, hook eyes with the one person of your tribe also stuck there in the awfulness (for me, that’s usually my spouse). Find a pretence to retreat to a quiet space, sit there for a spell, roll and take a puff from an imaginary joint…
You know that is so true! Just catching the eye of a fellow tribe member can do wonders for the soul!
Thank you for sharing (and playing) the pets as cereal name game :)
The dental floss on the floor for six days just SENT ME (especially bc ADHD its usually me who walked by it 100 times!)
It was a social experiment! I thought surely someone will SEE this! Surely someone will SEE this and TAKE CARE of it but alas...it's now part of our decor! :)
This was amazing. I wasn’t really in the mood for the big extended, blended family get-together later today, but you’ve provided some incredible tips and reminded me that I can have fun with all this nonsense.
A story that’s sort of in the spirit of your post: My brother and SIL host every year. My SIL’s mom would bring a pie, and my mom would bring a chocolate cake. This went on for several years. Last year, my SIL’s mom asked my SIL (who was mortified) to ask my mom not to bring the cake. You see, it took attention away from her pie. Then we learned at dinner that my SIL’s mom got her pies at Costco. Which in and of itself is fine—they’re delicious—but you’re getting weird and competitive over a pie you didn’t even bake???
OMG!!! The nerve!!! you do not mess with in laws, blended holiday traditions, and DESSSERTS!!! Did she try passing off that pie as something she baked???? Like did she take it out of the giant pie box and put it on a giant plate and maybe rub some flour on her nose for good measure???!!! THE NERVE!
There’s a deep well of stories associated with this woman. I wish I could write about them, but the repercussions would be too great.
Thanks for the laughs. My daughter’s cat would be Count Chocula. Definitely. Thanks. Enjoy the day.
Ha ha ha I love it!
Shelly, how can I book you as my full-time festive family fuckery diffuser? We don’t celebrate Thanksgiving here in Australia but we still have to endure our families over the holidays. I can’t wait to try many of the methods you have described! Also very pumped for your week of no-pants festive stress relief 👏
No joke I’m actually scared to read your latest post! I just don’t even know how you can be that brave! And yes, you can absolutely book me, but I will have to live in your house. For six months.
I wrote a whole comment and then my husband started asking me questions about who diagnosed my ADHD and what their address is because he’s signing me up for life insurance at his new company (why would they need to know about ADHD? Is it a silent killer?!) and when I came back to substack my comment draft was gone. Now I’m paralyzed. Do I attempt to recreate it? Or is the moment gone?
I don’t know but we may need to learn more about this silent killer!!! Recreate it! The moment is never gone!
Ah!! Thanks for the laughs heading into the holiday! 😂🙌🧡🦃✨
Thank you for reading, Jane! Happy Thanksgiving!