41 Comments
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Christina's avatar

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 🥴🫠😫 oooooh to live in a world where these wishes could come true!

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

Sigh…I know. Although he DID do one week of camp registration!

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Julie Vick's avatar

That empty container thing is high on my wish list too. Will pencil that in for Mother’s Day gifts.

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

Ohhhh Mother’s Day. Good idea. Maybe we can collab on a wish list!

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Julie Vick's avatar

💯

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Ofifoto's avatar

At least the brownie ended up in some form of bin. My son's friend came over after school once and the next day I found one of my homemade cookies BEHIND THE TOILET. 🤦 I pity him for what his mother must feed him (like you, I am a great baker, so it's definitely not my cooking), but he was not invited again.

My biggest bug bear with my lodgers (husband and two man-boys) is that no one else knows how to wash the dishes. They *are* learning my trash sorting system though, so of that I am very proud.

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

“Lodgers!” 😂😂😂 Okay at least they are learning! You’re doing something right! Behind the toilet! Ewwwww!

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Lisa Hides's avatar

LOOK WITH YOUR EYES

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

They don’t have eyes, Lisa!

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Lisa Hides's avatar

Oooh that makes so much more sense

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Pamela 💫's avatar

Happy Valentine's Day!

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

Happy Valentine’s Day to YOU! My son came home today with the expensive PERSONALIZED water bottle he lost 3 months ago and told me it was my V-day gift. More than I could have imagined!

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Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

I thought you were talking about hubby minus the baseball camp. Hehe.

I want to know who threw away that precious brownie too! Homemade baked goods are like gold!

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

RIGHT? These are the same kids who are eating dill pickle flavored Cheetos so you know... taste is subjective I guess.

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Rick McClelland's avatar

When the piece starts with a callback to that wild summer camp story, you know it's gonna be a banger.

The paper towel would have me losing my mind after one day.

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

It was almost too triggering for me to link to.

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Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Love this!!! The working title for my piece tomorrow is something about Valentine’s Day being stupid…so if that winds up being the final title I promise I didn’t steal it from you!!🤣

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

Oh I think you probably have better sources to steal from! 🤣 I’m already excited to read it!

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Liz Alterman's avatar

I feel like we are living the same life!! The ketchup!! :)

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

😂😂😂 It’s enormous!!!

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Maria Hanley's avatar

The empty boxes in the pantry, “Where’s the ketchup?”, garbage on the floor, and me endlessly picking recycling out of the garbage. Also, I don’t care about Valentine’s Day either. I always say if you’re going to buy me flowers, wait a day til they’re half the price they are today! Parallel lives, and you made me laugh about it all. Thank you!

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

I am glad (?) you can relate! Misery loves company? Happy Valentine’s Day (even though we both know it’s dumb!)

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Lindsey Smith | Not Normal's avatar

Omg the paper towel on the floor slayed me. My kids both have the flu and there's a layer of used tissue covering my house. I've watched them pluck out a Kleenex, barely use it, and then just TOSS IT up in the air, letting it land wherever. The fresh hell!

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

OMG YES!!!! The tissue barely touches nostril before it’s wadded up and thrown ON THE FLOOR!!!

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Kathryn Barbash, PsyD's avatar

One of my kids goes to a very environmentally minded, art focused preschool and he views our recycling bin as an art supply bucket, okay that's good I guess but that means he trys to weigh which bin things go in based on their potential as an art supply. The lesson about what materials are able to be recycled is lost. Happy Valentine's Day my friend!

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

To you too, my friend! 😍

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Lee Bacon's avatar

The recycling anxiety is a real thing. I live in Germany and their waste disposal system is labyrinthine. As a non-German, I’m very intimidated by the whole thing.

Great post!

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

Oh yes, I’ve actually heard about this! MY NIGHTMARE!!! Thank you for reading, Lee!

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Renee Fountain's avatar

I’m with you. My friends wish me happy Anti-Valentines Day.

When I couldn’t find something my mother always told me to “bend at the waist”… a favorite I now say to my husband, who knows not to ask me anything until he has exhausted all possibilities, including reporting to me that he has indeed bent at the waist. Otherwise he gets my rant: WHO do I CALL when all my underwear is dirty- or I can’t find my socks? WHO will save ME when I’m hungry…

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

Hahhahahhah bend at the waist is brilliant! But HOW did you get your husband to exhaust all possibilities before asking you where something is???? That’s some serious Jedi mind trickery!

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Renee Fountain's avatar

Not Jedi. The rant can be pretty scary. 🫣

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

Teach a class!!!

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Renee Fountain's avatar

🤣 I’ll give it some thought.

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Sara's avatar

The empty packets in the cupboard!! 🤬🤬🤬🤬 Don’t even get me started on that. Or my kids leave their rubbish on the counter above the bin. ABOVE. 🤯 I’ve also stolen that proverb about looking with eyes not mouth. Thank you 🙏 Happy Valentine’s Day!!

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

ABOVE! Come on! Are they messing with us on purpose???? @Renee Fountain also has a good proverb above!

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Sara's avatar

Haha Bend at the Waist! I’m stealing that too.

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Eliane's avatar

Spot on! I had forgotten the old, " Look with your eyes and not with your mouth." Thank you for the refresher! I love your mom sarcasm!

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

Thank you, Eliane!

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