34 Comments
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Kristina Koser's avatar

You have witnessed my pain. Perfectly said.

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

It was YOU where I first learned about those damn spreadsheets and saw the first glimpse of my future!!!

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Tom Goedde's avatar

Nice job working in Dez AND Showdown Sports references!

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

I like to drop those Easter Eggs to see who's reading! hahahaa!

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Nikki Summer's avatar

Love this!

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

Thank you for reading, Nikki!

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Andrew Knott's avatar

This is amazing! You had me on the verge of cheering when you got the kids registered and I don’t feel anything so that’s really an accomplishment. Also, thanks for the shoutout!

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

You don’t feel anything??? Teach me your ways!!

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Andrew Knott's avatar

SSRIs! 😂

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

Yessssssssssssssrissssss!! hahahahah

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Chris Stanton's avatar

Hilarious, and the double-dose of Goonies made my day. There's no way Mama Fratelli would have gone to these lengths for her boys.

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

Excellent point! And see how well THEY turned out? Err, umm, well they at least had great respect for her. :)

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Christine Vaughan Davies's avatar

I am reading this in bed at about ungodly early hour (thanks perimenopause!) and am guffawing and snorting, nearly waking my husband up! 😂 You speak the truth! My take away is to add shots to camp registration - that is brilliant!

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

Well I was probably writing this at an ungodly hour (thanks, menopause) so solidarity! I am very glad doing shots is your takeaway! A shot for every week you get registered? Can we make this a drinking game?

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Christine Vaughan Davies's avatar

Perfect drinking game. Or a follow up version for when we have to fill out all the forms. Like, take a sip anytime you have to look up your kids' doctor's phone number, or try to remember their height and weight!

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Annexes's avatar

This was amazing to read and I'm not even part of the mom world. I need to know more. I had no idea there would be daytime shots involved. I mean it does sound like an amazing bonding experience? The inner Bad Bs thrived

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

We do feel like we survived something major together. And to commemorate we do a shot every day at 4:57PM. 😂

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Joy V.'s avatar

Highly relatable. Also, when the mandatory upcoming middle school "transition" camp for incoming sixth graders is the same week you booked your dream vacation many moons ago. FFS.

"We're C-I-T's so pity us. The food is bad, the kids are hideous!"

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Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Hilarious. I’m so glad this era is in my parental past. My niece is preggers and there is a waiting list for day care. And I heard day care in LA is 4k per month!

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

STOP IT! Damnnnnn, how much do nannies make in LA? I might be considering a career change.

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Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Thx for mention! 🙏🥰

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Julie Vick's avatar

Too real! My kids did a basketball camp last summer and I think that one of the highlights was that they got to go to the campus dining hall and eat whatever they wanted for lunch (which might have been mostly desserts?). Thank you for the shout out!

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

Okay, I would go to that camp! Food will make or break a campers experience! You are welcome!

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Julie Vick's avatar

I know. Significantly better than any camp food I remember getting!

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

My son was forced to attend a 3-day overnight camp all the 5th graders have to attend and hated every second-- especially the food. When I asked him what they were being served he listed off menu items that were better than what we served at our wedding. So, okay, kid. Here's your daily bowl of dry Life cereal. Enjoy!

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Rick McClelland's avatar

The “my eyes are down here” from the root touch up and the HOV lane metaphor were 🔥🤌. Great way to open up and the story DELIVERED!

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

Is it weird I feel like my favorite writing professor just gave me a good critique? Because I DO! Thank you for reading, Rick!

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Rick McClelland's avatar

Haha I don’t know that anyone would ever mistake me for a writing prof, but I’m told I need to accept compliments more gracefully sooooo I’ll take it. I just love me some well worded comedic lines and wanted to give props!

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Mary Austin (she/her)'s avatar

Yes! All of this. Snort laughing…and crying a little, too, remembering those excel spreadsheets.

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

You did the spreadsheets too, Mary??? Were they color-coded? I forgot to mention the moms who got up in the middle of the night because registration for some camps opened at some god forsaken hour on a Tuesday.

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Mary Austin (she/her)'s avatar

No color-coding. I’m not that dedicated. I’m more from the “all camps are very similar and anything that allows me to work will be fine” school of thought.

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

I want to be you, Mary! Teach me your ways!

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Christina's avatar

Holy shit I am dying. I haven’t laughed this hard in a hot minute. As the mom of a middle and high schooler this laugh is the laugh of a hardened summer camp veteran slash survivor with the crazy laugh and eye twitch to prove it.

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

YES! You are a seasoned mom! STAND BACK! I should have put a trigger warning on this! There's going to be a lot of crazy laughs and twitching going on!

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