47 Comments
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Jen Zug's avatar

1) That anti-drugs “I learned it from YOU!” gif is priceless

2) We lived in our house for three months before Bryan asked me how to run the dishwasher (but he makes the coffee every morning. score I get out of bed, so 🤷🏼‍♀️ )

3) I can’t remember what three was. I must be suppressing the trauma.

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

Hahaha suppressing the trauma! Also, I'm glad you could appreciate the "I learned it from watching you" gif! You have to be "of a certain age" to get it!

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Chris Stanton's avatar

The school email debacle killed me. I could feel the seething heat coming off the screen. I'm sure that dishwashers and failing to replenish various food and beverage products are responsible for at least a third of all divorces.

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

As Radar would say, “Bruh…”

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Sherry Trentini's avatar

I don't know where you live, but I wish we were neighbours, because I need to talk to someone who gets it when I say, "Socks, are not considered recyclable!"

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

OMG THE RECYCLING!!! Why does everything end up there!!??? You have no idea (well, actually you do) how many times I’m climbing in our giant bin pulling out tennis balls, used paper towels, an old extension cord! This is common sense!

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Sherry Trentini's avatar

#mylife I audit our bins, literally me mini dumpster diving to put things where they belong. 😂

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Saritza Hernandez's avatar

How I howled in solidarity laughter! OMG!! Hilarious and true and how is this our life? LMAO!!

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

Nooooo, not Anthony too! hahahhaha there is NO HOPE in this world!

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Jeremy Grenemyer's avatar

Sweet Christmas, that dodgy cup is a firing offense.

:stands in solidarity:

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Maria Hanley's avatar

Absolutely hilarious and TRUE. Thank you for the laugh this morning!

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Lindsey's avatar

Ohhh dear God. That dishwasher pic. I am obsessed with the fact that you’re taking photos of these household infractions…. Proof! Can’t argue with factual evidence! Well done. Brilliant and hilarious!

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Lindsey's avatar

You two are my new role models for managing both my spouse’s and child’s nonsense. They’re about to have their world’s rocked with photo evidence.

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Sherry Trentini's avatar

I can’t even look at “on this day memories” for the shudder factor!

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

This is so funny I can’t stop laughing! I almost hope my iPhone does make me an album!

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Sherry Trentini's avatar

😂

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Sherry Trentini's avatar

At one time, a big chunk of my personal camera roll was pictures of random dishes, clothing and other accoutrements, that my daughters had left somewhere; and I would message it to them with a question mark. It was mostly effective because they seemed to deal with it more promptly.

The ick factor is when your iPhone creates an album of said pictures and when they come up in memories. I did consider making them a photo book of their teens. lol

Ahh good times!

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

Hahahhah omg the iPhone album is hysterical! You should make one of those Shutterfly photo albums of these pics and give it your family as a gift!

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

Oh you should see the pic I just took of what he did to my newly organized hall closet! I sent that baby to him at work and he said he was about to present in a meeting and broke out into a cold sweat! Everyone thought he was nervous about the presentation. hahahahah

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Lindsey's avatar

hahaha! Incredible.

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Francesca Bossert's avatar

Omg! Hysterical!! Yes! But… you should upgrade to my Swiss model. My husband is the ultimate nest/clean/surfaces freak whose motto is “everything gets cleaned, everything gets put away” (albeit in French). I kid you not. It is reverse freaky and stressful as fuck, because leave something lying around at your own risk! He’s not as bad as the scary dude in that film with julia Roberts decades ago, but ooh yeah he has cleaning and putting away skills. He once threw away the Christmas tree (artificial) and decades of collected decorations during a removal . It almost ended in divorce. Many tears were shed and harsh words exchanged! Usually it’s a wonderful asset though… I’m far far messier. But I can load the dishwasher. Thanks for the laugh!

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

Ok so much to discuss here:

1. The motto is great but I bet in French it's downright beautiful. maybe that would motivate my family?

2. Be careful what you wish for also applies here! yikes!

3. The Christmas tree and ornaments got tossed???? I do not know if we would have recovered from that!

4. "Scary dude in that film with Julia Roberts!" Hahhahahhahahhahhaha a classic reference that needs no explanation!

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Rick McClelland's avatar

lol killer piece Shelly! As a Single Bachelor, my life is divided into Before Dishwasher and After Dishwasher. I don’t know how I made it in life when I had to hand wash everything. The fact your guy doesn’t have the proper respect for the dishwasher is a travesty.

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

YOU NEED TO TEACH A CLASS, RICK! Dishwashers for Dudes or something that make them feel like a properly loaded dishwasher is on par with wrestling an alligator or saving your family from a swarm of bees. Please help us!!!

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Absurd and Wondrous's avatar

This is so brilliant. Doing all the little invisible (to them) things that are needed to keep from drowning in filth is mentally exhausting. And having to tell them what to do is even worse! It often feels easier to just do the things myself than try to teach them. Ugh. I quit. Can I quit? No? Bugger.

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

You are so right— the “I want to help— tell me what to do!” But that’s just another thing TO DO! Just look around and when you see filth— take care of it! So easy! :)

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Katharine Strange's avatar

Oh man the RAGE boiling up in my soul as I read this! And the burden of feeling like we need to not raise sons who turn into men who can't handle basic household tasks! My mom used to claim that many men have a faulty CFS gene--CFS standing for "can't find shit."

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

Hahahhahha! It’s been happening for generations!!! Why????? How can we stop the cycle!!!???

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Sara's avatar

This got me good! I’ll be cackling to myself for days over this. The school emails - don’t get me started! My husband also told me he can’t fold the clothes because he’s not very good at it. My suggestion? Practice makes perfect!

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Sara's avatar

Are you sure we don’t live in the same house?! I ALSO embarked on a major linen cupboard reorganisation mission involving the purchase of a labelling machine. But on the odd occasion when I’ve been away, my husband goes rogue in the cupboard (despite the clear labelling system!) - we’re talking sheets and quilt covers that are “rolled” not folded and placed in random spots. How can I live like this?!

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

What???? No!!! Why must they buck the system!? The system works!

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

Sara, I FEEL YOU obviously. Not being good at something is no excuse! I spent all weekend reorganizing our hall closet. I’m talking, new PAINT and contact paper on the shelves. Everything in cute little bins and zippered bins for sheets! They are labeled even! I was so proud of this closet I had a grand revealing! The NEXT day I found a pile of sheets TOSSED in the closet! Just thrown in there! My husband said, “well I had to put them somewhere!” But there are labeled zippered bins! Whyyyyyyyy??? (And yes, I have photographic proof!)

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Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

LMAO. You bring back memories. I assure you Bart will learn by the time you’re an empty nester. The diploma in Dishwasher Studies was earned a few years ago at our house. Yes, Jeffrey was always the one to pack our suitcases and the car trunk efficiently but for some reason he didn’t get the memo about stacking plates and running the dishwasher when it’s FULL. He gets it now.

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

Oh that gives me so much hope! So it just takes years to get even an Associates Degree? Even when you LIVE WITH A MASTER??? Btw, I'm also very good at packing the trunk but I'm terrible at gauging anything to do with measurements. Is that person 6ft tall or 3ft tall? Is this room 16ft or 428 yards? Who can tell???

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Sheeby's avatar

An ex, while standing in the kitchen in front of the open refrigerator, called me at the office to ask me where the mustard was. He had looked ALL through the fridge and is wasn't there. I told him where it was....it was in the fridge on the door.

When we first moved in together, I told him that I had to wash my clothes so I would do his too. (Ah, new love is so sweet!) About a month later, he came to me and said his white shirts weren't as white as he liked them. I told him I could take care of that. He smiled. Then I told him I would no longer do his laundry. He stopped smiling.

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

Hahahaha OMG I would have lost it!!! And yes, I have brought in like Olivia Pope to find missing condiments or band-aids or sunscreen which is always ALWAYS right where it always is. I know face blindness is a thing-- is it possible they have some kind of item blindness? But like, all items??

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Jason Tondro's avatar

I participated in Learned Helplessness and that may be why I am now a Single Middle Aged Game Designer. But I have tried to learn and be better, and now here we are. I’m glad your story ended on an optimistic sign. We can be taught.

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

You are living proof, Jason!!!

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Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

I am literally rolling down a grassy hill and laughing all the way to the bottom after reading this 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

Reasons I'm Single #3476. And I raised a boy who knew how to do his own laundry by the age of 11 lol. To be fair, we never had the luxury of a dishwasher when he was growing up so his lectures were only about dishes in the sink.

I had a husband for a minute (literally almost a minute) but the first time he said my pork chops weren't as good as his mother's, I sent him home.

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

"for a minute!" OMG! Also that is a great teachable moment! I guess I'm lucky that my husband's mom didn't really cook so there's a low bar for sure.

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