Giving away those pads and tampons literally felt like a right of passage. I do not miss waking up to a murder scene. That last year or so before it finally stops -- has to be the worst. It's like my body had excess inventory and now it's a fire sale -- ALL of it must go!
I didn't have a role model of my menopausal future, my mom had a full hysterectomy when she was 25. So my fate was a mystery. The most difficult part for me is the belly fat... never had it... now can't get rid of it. And can we talk FUPA?
YES WE CAN TALK ABOUT FUPA!!! We MUST! I'm sitting here right now with my FUPA resting comfortably on my lap like a sleeping kitty. (Euphemism?) I had a weekend away with my girlfriends and BAM- 5 pounds added. Can't lose it no matter what I eat or how much I exercise. I'm dying over the "excess inventory/fire sale" comment!!
Shelly, you are like my fairy menopause mother - telling me all I need to know. I don’t need a doctor now - I have you. Tell me though, will my boobs stop hurting for 10 days of the month? Cos I’m keen for that to END!
Maybe! Nobody knows! Everyone’s symptoms are different and they mimic pregnancy and getting your period and also losing your mind! So you never really know what’s wrong with you. Am I pregnant or am I in menopause? Nobody knows! Just get in the boat,Sara! I got you!
Thanks for writing this entertaining and educational piece. I'm more of a peri dowager than a peri princess, but I have never looked back or felt better!
So I've read that the menopausal body suffers alot of the same fates as the breastfeeding body. I've put in 3 years and counting on that front and have dealt with the hot flashes, brain fog, exhaustion and snappiness as a result, so thought perhaps I was ready for what will one day come. But THINNING HAIR? I didn't know about that one and I'm not ok with it. Give me a goatee if you must but leave the hair on my head alone (she says, in prayer to the menopause gods.)
Congrats on earning your wings 🤣. Seriously though, my wife can empathize. Especially the part about her doc. She has a female one as well and the lack of help/direction from her has been really curious to me. (And infuriating for my wife)
This brings back memories. Hehe. Have you walked past the feminine products aisle of the market yet? It’s joyous. You will dance to the register and do flips when you view the total on your receipt. The savings!
Also, I have a male friend who was on a medication that gave him a hot flash. He immediately woke his husband and demanded to go to the er because something was clearly very very wrong. 😂
My husband thought it was like working up a decent sweat in the gym. I had to explain to him that it’s not like that at all. That it’s a feeling of being dropped into the center of hell that starts at your feet and rises all the way up to the hair on your head! He was like, “oh.”
Thank you. Very enlightening. I’m 70 years old, so I’ve been in menopause for 20 years never understanding what my body was going through. Sadly I don’t remember what my mother might’ve been experiencing, she was of the generation that didn’t talk about it and now she’s no longer with me. My ob/gyn was no help whatsoever probably because I only went to see her because I was pregnant. And the lack of education on the subject. My daughters are now experiencing perimenopause which has opened up our collective eyes to reams of information. It seems in 2025 many gynecologists are educating themselves on the ramifications of perimenopause and menopause. Sad. Hormones are so very vital to our overall health and now I’m just learning how vital. Sorry for going off on a rant, but this subject is important to all women. Thank you so very much.
Spot on, Shelly. From the oblivious "doctor" to the enlightened tween, and the ups and downs (which could refer to anything from body temperature or mood swings to nighttime tinkles), thank you for starting this conversation.
I was in the accelerated class at 46. My doctor laughed at me when I told her I thought I was in menopause. Thankfully, the worst of my symptoms were manageable.
Giving away those pads and tampons literally felt like a right of passage. I do not miss waking up to a murder scene. That last year or so before it finally stops -- has to be the worst. It's like my body had excess inventory and now it's a fire sale -- ALL of it must go!
I didn't have a role model of my menopausal future, my mom had a full hysterectomy when she was 25. So my fate was a mystery. The most difficult part for me is the belly fat... never had it... now can't get rid of it. And can we talk FUPA?
YES WE CAN TALK ABOUT FUPA!!! We MUST! I'm sitting here right now with my FUPA resting comfortably on my lap like a sleeping kitty. (Euphemism?) I had a weekend away with my girlfriends and BAM- 5 pounds added. Can't lose it no matter what I eat or how much I exercise. I'm dying over the "excess inventory/fire sale" comment!!
I knew I'd like you, Shelly :)
Shelly, you are like my fairy menopause mother - telling me all I need to know. I don’t need a doctor now - I have you. Tell me though, will my boobs stop hurting for 10 days of the month? Cos I’m keen for that to END!
Maybe! Nobody knows! Everyone’s symptoms are different and they mimic pregnancy and getting your period and also losing your mind! So you never really know what’s wrong with you. Am I pregnant or am I in menopause? Nobody knows! Just get in the boat,Sara! I got you!
My favourite thing is not knowing what will happen to me, so I’m pumped for this! 🤣🥵
Thanks for writing this entertaining and educational piece. I'm more of a peri dowager than a peri princess, but I have never looked back or felt better!
Peri Dowager! hahahhahahhhaha! Love it!
That 20% stat about OB/GYNs is astounding. WTF? Anyway, you made this sound like so much fun that I’m now experiencing menopause FOMO.
Well, good luck getting your doctor to talk to you about THAT!
Another healthcare professional I can annoy!
So I've read that the menopausal body suffers alot of the same fates as the breastfeeding body. I've put in 3 years and counting on that front and have dealt with the hot flashes, brain fog, exhaustion and snappiness as a result, so thought perhaps I was ready for what will one day come. But THINNING HAIR? I didn't know about that one and I'm not ok with it. Give me a goatee if you must but leave the hair on my head alone (she says, in prayer to the menopause gods.)
Congrats on earning your wings 🤣. Seriously though, my wife can empathize. Especially the part about her doc. She has a female one as well and the lack of help/direction from her has been really curious to me. (And infuriating for my wife)
I love getting my menopause information with such a lovely side of laughs. It’s also such a relief that we get to talk more freely about it all!
This brings back memories. Hehe. Have you walked past the feminine products aisle of the market yet? It’s joyous. You will dance to the register and do flips when you view the total on your receipt. The savings!
cigarettes and tampons! I can’t believe how much they cost!
Just me, checking in to say I STILL LOVE YOU
Also, I have a male friend who was on a medication that gave him a hot flash. He immediately woke his husband and demanded to go to the er because something was clearly very very wrong. 😂
My husband thought it was like working up a decent sweat in the gym. I had to explain to him that it’s not like that at all. That it’s a feeling of being dropped into the center of hell that starts at your feet and rises all the way up to the hair on your head! He was like, “oh.”
I lol’d here. Mostly because I could see that being my response too 🤣
Thank you. Very enlightening. I’m 70 years old, so I’ve been in menopause for 20 years never understanding what my body was going through. Sadly I don’t remember what my mother might’ve been experiencing, she was of the generation that didn’t talk about it and now she’s no longer with me. My ob/gyn was no help whatsoever probably because I only went to see her because I was pregnant. And the lack of education on the subject. My daughters are now experiencing perimenopause which has opened up our collective eyes to reams of information. It seems in 2025 many gynecologists are educating themselves on the ramifications of perimenopause and menopause. Sad. Hormones are so very vital to our overall health and now I’m just learning how vital. Sorry for going off on a rant, but this subject is important to all women. Thank you so very much.
10x lighted mirror helps to catch the whiskers before they are OMG long.
It’s, um, convenient that our eyes go right around the time our beards start to sprout isn’t it.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
I’m too scared to look!
Spot on, Shelly. From the oblivious "doctor" to the enlightened tween, and the ups and downs (which could refer to anything from body temperature or mood swings to nighttime tinkles), thank you for starting this conversation.
So many ups and downs! Maybe they need to rebrand menopause to something cutsie like Ups & Downs? Are you in your ups and downs era? congratulations!
I was in the accelerated class at 46. My doctor laughed at me when I told her I thought I was in menopause. Thankfully, the worst of my symptoms were manageable.
Is that accelerated? I feel like that’s right on time.
I thought so too, but my doctor (I should clarify *then*-doctor) was certain that it happens for all women exactly at the average of 52. 😆
Um...Can I tell you I LOLed non-stop while reading this all while DRINKING PEPPERMINT TEA IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT BECAUSE I CANT SLEEP! 🤪🫠🙃😅
I loved this so much. Thanks for all the advice!! Can’t wait to dig into more of your work.
Thank you for reading, Lizzy!