33 Comments

Ahh!! Thanks for the laughs, as always! Total anxious basketcase over here—and that was even before motherhood doubled it. Ha ha!

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Basketcases Unite! Good to know you had a nice, solid base build from! :)

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I’ve spent two decades trying to talk my mumxiety off the ledge and the success rate remains abysmal. It’s full-on nervous wreck fireworks when me and my daughter who has regular teenxiety on top of her autism bounce off each other, because I have to talk her off the ledge too while internally catastrophising and trying not to show it. I’m still only slightly over the time she was 8 and I called an ambulance because I was convinced she had broken her leg. The paramedic took about 4 minutes to get her skipping again. 🤦‍♀️ Will it ever get better?? (I was never chill to begin with but, you know, chill-ish.)

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First, "Mumxiety" sounds much cooler than "Momxiety." According to my mom (who told me this when she was in her 70's) no-- it does not get better. So I guess we better hold on!

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Until a few minutes ago, I was blissfully ignorant of hidden hair syndrome. That’s BANANAS! I’m also feeling guilty about a certain carnival goldfish who shall rename nameless. Yet I’m also laughing my ass off so let’s call it even. So funny, my bestie!

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Ok well don’t you think it’s odd we both write about hair syndromes this week???? Mine hidden, yours definitely not! 😂

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I did think of that! That’s wild. Wonder Twin powers, activate!

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And they always activate around really important topics. We are true disruptors..

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We really are. We have our finger on the pulse of the zeitgeist. Or our zeitgeist on the finger of the pulse. Or is it our pulse on the zeitgeist of the finger? Whatever it is, we have our something on the something of something else.

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All I have to say is— the momxiety never ends. Plus, their frontal cortex isn’t fully developed until they’re 27.

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oooooooh nooooooooo!!! and your kids are across the country, right? Is that better or worse!?

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I’m 69 years old and have 4 grown children. My oldest just turned 47. I have 7 grandchildren. I still worry, all the time. If they don’t text me immediately when they get home as my husband would say I go right for the jugular. I can’t help it. It’s just part of being a parent. I’ve learned to cope with it and try to be rational about it. I remind myself worrying is a wasted emotion, it accomplishes nothing. I use prayer to help me, may not be for others but use whatever helps you to stay calm.

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Aww Rose, I find this sweet. You sound like a wonderful, loving mom and grandmom! I can relate-- my mom can relate-- and every mom everywhere can relate. I always had to call my mom too-- even when I was 3k miles away!

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I am laughing and crying….

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And you just summed up motherhood!

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Exactly! I actually posted an article about this same thing this week (only with concrete examples of how my kids tried to die during their childhood!). Unlike your existential worry about amputating your child's toes, I actually did almost amputate my son's fingers. Which begs the question: Have you ever enclosed your baby's hand in the trunk? No? Then you're definitely winning at parenting. (And now I've given you something new to worry about. Sorry about that!)

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Wellllll I might have enclosed his little toddler fingers in a car door. Or at least THOUGHT I did and as a result, burst out crying and hid behind a garbage can. So great to know my mother's instinct tells me to RUN and HIDE!!! I would love to read your piece, Leslie! Will you link it here? Or maybe I don't want to???? Or maybe it's aversion therapy???

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We are definitely in the same tribe!

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Ok I had to take a break from reading your essay to put vodka in my coffee because I am so stressed out! hahahhaha! But the dumb and dumber bangs just killed me! NOTE TO SELF: Get read of all snub nose scissors!!!

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"One out of four moms is a liar."—too funny!

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I don’t know. This might be one area where I fall more on the side of being a robot mom. I remember wearing earplugs to bed so my brand new second-born wouldn’t wake me up during the night unless he REALLY MEANT IT. That feels like Psychopathic Mom Behavior. Ok maybe I do have momxiety.

Also, I have the same Activities Threshold as Bart—two is too much! 😂

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Bart will appreciate that!!! And I think Robot Mom is actually a wonderful tactic more moms should employ! As long as they have a Tiger Partner to balance them out! :)

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"Are we tiger parents?" is gold.

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We are the very opposite of tiger parents, Andrew. Ask me what my kid is doing at any given time and I'll say, "Umm playing a video game? Maybe basketball? Not sure."

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Relatable

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That Rollercoaster on top of the Stratosphere was the perfect analogy for Vegas: round and round, up and down, with a promise of excitement that never delivers

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Hahahha so true! And I probably would never have ridden it regardless of if I had a kid!

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The arrival of my anxiety and the arrival of my first born occurred on the same day 😂 Can I also tell you that someone freaked me out about the hidden hairs - but not around the toes - around something else that would cause much more devastation than losing a toe!! I could never get it out of my mind. 🍆🙀

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Omg!!!! How did you ever survive THAT????? Thankfully I only worried about toes! Wait— is this something we still need to worry about???

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Probably

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Spot on.

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You knew me when I was fun!

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