My Issues
Fart filters, more MILFs, and a cute kid
Welcome to this week’s mini issues, friends. And let’s give a warm welcome to our new subscribers!
Great. Moving on.
As a reminder we have a new content rollout plan. Last week was my “Big Issues.” This week you’re reading my “Mini issues.” Oh, I have issues for days, don’t you worry, but we can’t give my poor brother more weekly reading than he can handle. So going forward, it’s mini-issue, big issue, mini-issue, big issue, repeat weekly for all of eternity.
I’ve got some freshly mined gems for you this week.
We Manifested This: Occasionally my husband I will come up with some amazing ideas, like our screenplay concept about his mom being a secret murderer but using his unsuspecting dad as her hitman. (Hmm, writing it out like that doesn’t seem to have the same luster. Better work on my elevator pitch.) Usually we are three sheets and forget to write them down, but I’m SURE we came up with a pair of magical underwear that filtered butt gas as it left your body allowing you to leave a trouser trail of scents like jasmine petals, salted caramel, or patchouli1 in your wake. (Or maybe it was another screenplay?) Well, our more sober and proactive bizarro counterparts beat us to the e-comm marketplace. We would have had a cooler name than Tootles like Fart Blockers or Under-Shartments, but it’s still a good idea.
New Side Hustle? Okay, I had way too much fun coming up with Mom backpack ideas and now I want to buy a Real Housewives bag for real. I’ll wear it to BravoCon! So I made more. Which mom would you want to be friends with based on the backpacks below?
Cute Kid: My dad’s basement actually housed some actual gems like this photo of an adorable little girl with messy, uneven hair and chubby cheeks, candidly reading a book while a J.C. Penney photographer snapped her photo. I sent it to my husband so he had at least one cute picture of me.
Assignment! Many of you had lots to say about MILFs. Who knew Dads had so many hot takes on female friendships? Let’s keep the conversation going. Please jump in the comments and talk to me about:
MILF Appreciation Post! Tell me about the MILFs in your life. (For the love of god, REMEMBER MY DEFINITION OF MILFs PLEASE!)
There’s many types of MILFs I didn’t get to. What you look for in a MILF? What kind of MILF are you?
What would be on your backpack? Or tell me your interests and I’ll make it for you!
Big thanks for reading, subscribing, and sharing (extra big thanks to you, Tom G. and Gorla!)
XO,
Shelly
I’d rather smell your fart, thanks.