85 Comments
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Yvonne F's avatar

Oh the long line of Harpers to grace our home. Not sorry none of them were allowed to come back. Gotta keep an eye on those sneaky gem hoarding kids. 🤣

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Lisa Hides's avatar

They’re everywhere! 🤣

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Eva dick's avatar

Very, very funny!

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Lisa Hides's avatar

Thank you, Eva!

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Texana's avatar

Great writing

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Lisa Hides's avatar

Thank you ❤️

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Elizabeth Christensen's avatar

Kick her in the vagina? Puhleeese. She’d need a speculum for starters.

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JFurrocious's avatar

Perhaps her 8 yr old hasn’t taken the extensive human anatomy classes you have yet. You should point out that the correct term is “kicked in the vulva and specifically in the labia majora”. In the same vein, it’s ridiculous that guys are always talking about getting hit in the “nuts” or “balls”, when they clearly should be saying “Damn, that baseball hit my testes and caused blunt scrotal trauma! I certainly hope my epididymus is not avulsed!”

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Elizabeth Christensen's avatar

1) The 8 year old didn’t write the post. 2) It’s very basic anatomy.

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JT's avatar

I’m a bit of a pedant myself. But c’mon.

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Elizabeth Christensen's avatar

I think it’s a shame when kids don’t even know the correct names for their bodies. Not good for moms either.

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JFurrocious's avatar

No, but I understand that the 8 yr old was the one who informed her mother that Harper had kicked her in the vagina. And because it’s a humor piece and part of the humor is in the funny things kids say sometimes and the conversations between parents and kids, the author chose not to change the wording to the correct anatomical descriptions. Obviously you’re a stickler for details.

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Elizabeth Christensen's avatar

The mom said vagina first.

I assume stickler wasn’t meant as a compliment but I’m flattered that you care. .

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Amy B's avatar

We all had our Harpers!! Funny🤣

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Lisa Hides's avatar

We sure did!! Thank you, Amy!

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😳😳😳😳😳's avatar

I’m confused. Where’s the part of the story where you decline to let Harper visit, or tell your daughter you’ll try to plan something then defer it and then plan a get together with some other kid? Your kid wants to have some antisocial kid over to visit and you say yes because…?

IMO it is the parents job to “be the grownup” and tell the kids no when they want to do something self destructive, even if it upsets them. This story where you don’t set boundaries for your daughter then participate in the schoolyard bullying like you’re 8 years old yourself is just bizarre. An adult should not be doing mean stuff to a kid, it’s weird and immature and bad role modelling and just WEIRD.

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JFurrocious's avatar

I bet you have a special military whistle tone for each of your children. Come on, it’s okay to make them play clothes out of curtains!

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JFurrocious's avatar

Chill out, Brussels sprout

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None's avatar

This wasn’t funny.

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

Harper???

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Lisa Hides's avatar

Shit! It’s her! Quick, hide! (In the freezer?)

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Lisa Hides's avatar

But I bet you are!

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mari's avatar

We had one of those too. Got rid of him

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Jenny F.'s avatar

Your 8 year old sends messages on an iPad? And yet you're the one judging others' parenting? Ironic.

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JFurrocious's avatar

I can’t find the part where she’s judging others’ parenting; can you please point it out to me? Also many school systems (including ours) provide iPads to all students because that is how much of their schoolwork is done, and Messenger KIDS is very likely an app that the school has installed on those devices as a safe way for students to message each other, because other social media is (rightfully) blocked on them.

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Quiet Neighbor's avatar

Sounds like a female Eddie Haskell. Ugh

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Daphne V's avatar

Gathering the dowry for an unkicked vagina. Dead 😂

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Lisa Hides's avatar

🤣🤣

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Petey's avatar

I did LOL at one point but most of my muscles are still pretty slack

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Liz's avatar

Not the emotionally manipulative best friend necklace! That ish about destroyed the entire fourth grade girl gang in my day 😅💀 you never forget your first Harper lol Godspeed.

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Lisa Hides's avatar

Hahah truer words were never…typed!

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Cindy Ojczyk's avatar

When my daughter was in 2nd grade, she invited a friend over who ran to the pantry, grabbed a handful of candy without asking, then declared I would go to hell because I wasn't saved. No one at our address was upset she never came back.

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Glenna Heckler-Todt's avatar

My kids aren't this age anymore but they all had Harpers in their lives. In fact, my youngest is 17 and her “best” friend is a Harper. The stakes are even higher at that age when you mix driving and boys. Whenever I see the girl, I want to bang her head against a wall. Strength to you and to all of us as we help out kids navigate this fucked up world.

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