Oh my god please tell me the weather pods are not real?!?!??! Please!!! My kids are not old enough for sports yet and I am quaking in terror. How did you not punch all of these people?!
I almost became a PWS@PWS but my husband reminded me that our son and his friends were watching and it would likely become a core memory. The weather pods are real. I'm sorry to have to have to be the one to tell you.
Mind blown. Both my girls refuse to play organized sports of any kind but I may need to head to a local soccer game just for the anthropological experience. The snack bags also scare me. If Janet is handing this shit out at a game, what is she doing for birthday parties?!
Omg Shelly, this one hits different now I’ve inadvertently become the coach of my twins’ netball team (don’t ask)! I haven’t played since I was a kid and have no clue what I’m doing. I had to attend two training sessions to learn how to be a coach. I thought it would be about skills and the kids but NO, 90% was about how to manage psychotic parents on the sidelines. I mean, these kids are 7 FFS! Also, I can’t with those shelters 🤣🤣
Im pretty sure those pods are remnants of 2020 covid era where people outdoors were afraid covid was also outdoors so the petri dished inside away from the fresh air containing virus.
"Hey, hun. How about we toss the covid pod."
"No way! You know how much that cost us and we only used it that one time aunt Hilda came to visit."
"So what? Its just gonna sit here til the next pandemic? And why is it in the back of the Hilander?"
"Use your brain, Rick. Chelsea had one at the last soccer game. So we are taking ours."
Umm, can you please continue this story!??? 🤣 You are so right!!! I bet they are covid leftovers! And I love that your characters are Rick & Chelsea (white lotus reference? Yes? IYKYK?)
They are totally covid leftovers. Weather pods? No way, man. Those are pandemic isolation pods. I remember seeing them outside restaurants keeping family germs safely inside the pod. lol
Pulled Rick and Chelsea out of my hat. IIDKIDK! Had to look up White Lotus. Now I have to get another subscription-hbo. lol
How many subscriptions to streaming apps do you have? And how many do we pay for yet still get ads?!!
Please feel free to use this as your next writing prompt. lol
“Stop smiling like some dumb, little pussies!” – what the actual??? I would be FUMING
I was at a toddler rugby class once with my oldest, he was at most 2 and a half. A little pal of his who was younger than him was having an off day, and wanted to sit out some of the drills (drills, I ask of you, at 2) and his dad was so annoyed that he wasn't being a superstar sports kid that he told him he was wasting everyone's time, and then asked the coach not to give him a sticker at the end because "he hasn't earned it." The little boy looked devastated but unsurprised. Those are my least favourite sports adults. Live and let live, guys, PLEASE
Okay I think I'm still stuck on "toddler rugby class!" 😂 But yeah, no sticker because a 2 yo hasn't "earned it" is definitely going to be haunting that kid for life! Way to go dad!
We did soccer for a season, all of us hated it. Much more fun to take out the kayak to go catfishing and daughter takes photos of any birds she sees on the way.
OMG. This slayed me like an angry father going at a ref because of Henry’s perfectly good catch. So many gems in here, Bestie! “You’ll have to carry your own shelter like the sad, osteoporosis-ridden turtle hag you are” is one of the greatest insults I ever heard. And I sure fucking hope there was fallout for the monster who yelled “Stop smiling like some dumb, little pussies!” (It IS funny but come on, lady!)
I had no idea those pods excited, btw, and now I want to resign from the species.
Sounds like a hilarious but heinous portal to hell. I am the lucky bitch whose kids never played sports, so I did not have to participate in this scene. My kids were competitive dancers, however, and let me just say, it's kind of a parallel universe...
I love this because I have been seriously starting to feel like I was the weirdo - so many sports parents (especially the really loud vocal ones) are completely out. of. their. minds.
Yep. And you start to wonder if THEY are the normal ones and you are not? Should I tell my kid he sucks? Should I hire a chef to make them post-game snacks? Should I get a weather pod????
EXACTLY! Yeah when everyone else is apparently expecting their 9-year-olds to be training like olympians I feel like I'm the bad slacker parent for being like uh, that's....dumb? Anyway what a relief to know that I'm alone!
I lost my shit once when I was the assistant coach of my sister's high school softball team (I was in college) and the umpire made a horrendously bad call. I got tossed out of the game and had to go sit in the bleachers 😮💨
Oh my god please tell me the weather pods are not real?!?!??! Please!!! My kids are not old enough for sports yet and I am quaking in terror. How did you not punch all of these people?!
I almost became a PWS@PWS but my husband reminded me that our son and his friends were watching and it would likely become a core memory. The weather pods are real. I'm sorry to have to have to be the one to tell you.
Mind blown. Both my girls refuse to play organized sports of any kind but I may need to head to a local soccer game just for the anthropological experience. The snack bags also scare me. If Janet is handing this shit out at a game, what is she doing for birthday parties?!
You are soooo lucky.
Masterclass. The youth sports drama is truly next level.
I thought of you actually. I'm sure you have plenty of stories to add!
Omg Shelly, this one hits different now I’ve inadvertently become the coach of my twins’ netball team (don’t ask)! I haven’t played since I was a kid and have no clue what I’m doing. I had to attend two training sessions to learn how to be a coach. I thought it would be about skills and the kids but NO, 90% was about how to manage psychotic parents on the sidelines. I mean, these kids are 7 FFS! Also, I can’t with those shelters 🤣🤣
Oh damn, I need to see that training!!! And please please please write more about this! You have to! It’s mandatory.
Weather pods?!?!?
YES INDEED!
Im pretty sure those pods are remnants of 2020 covid era where people outdoors were afraid covid was also outdoors so the petri dished inside away from the fresh air containing virus.
"Hey, hun. How about we toss the covid pod."
"No way! You know how much that cost us and we only used it that one time aunt Hilda came to visit."
"So what? Its just gonna sit here til the next pandemic? And why is it in the back of the Hilander?"
"Use your brain, Rick. Chelsea had one at the last soccer game. So we are taking ours."
And there is your back story.
Umm, can you please continue this story!??? 🤣 You are so right!!! I bet they are covid leftovers! And I love that your characters are Rick & Chelsea (white lotus reference? Yes? IYKYK?)
They are totally covid leftovers. Weather pods? No way, man. Those are pandemic isolation pods. I remember seeing them outside restaurants keeping family germs safely inside the pod. lol
Pulled Rick and Chelsea out of my hat. IIDKIDK! Had to look up White Lotus. Now I have to get another subscription-hbo. lol
How many subscriptions to streaming apps do you have? And how many do we pay for yet still get ads?!!
Please feel free to use this as your next writing prompt. lol
“Stop smiling like some dumb, little pussies!” – what the actual??? I would be FUMING
I was at a toddler rugby class once with my oldest, he was at most 2 and a half. A little pal of his who was younger than him was having an off day, and wanted to sit out some of the drills (drills, I ask of you, at 2) and his dad was so annoyed that he wasn't being a superstar sports kid that he told him he was wasting everyone's time, and then asked the coach not to give him a sticker at the end because "he hasn't earned it." The little boy looked devastated but unsurprised. Those are my least favourite sports adults. Live and let live, guys, PLEASE
Okay I think I'm still stuck on "toddler rugby class!" 😂 But yeah, no sticker because a 2 yo hasn't "earned it" is definitely going to be haunting that kid for life! Way to go dad!
Haha, we’ve tried ALLLL the toddler classes
Be happy your kid doesn’t do competitive cheer 🫠🫠🫠 Although it is a indoor sport, so no weather pods
JENNA!!! You are correct! That has to be the worst of the worst!
Every competition has a different theme (wild west, jungle, under the sea, etc) and some parents buy a coordinating costume for EVERY competition.
We did soccer for a season, all of us hated it. Much more fun to take out the kayak to go catfishing and daughter takes photos of any birds she sees on the way.
Ok that sounds amazing!
At a gymnastic meet, I saw a man wearing a shirt that said “Brynnleigh flips, I pay.” That’s some sorta category, I’m sure.
Was that really the kids name???? 🤣🤣🤣
Yes def a category. Nepo merch?
These gymnastics parents are wild, I tell ya. Kinda MAGA-rally style.
OMG. This slayed me like an angry father going at a ref because of Henry’s perfectly good catch. So many gems in here, Bestie! “You’ll have to carry your own shelter like the sad, osteoporosis-ridden turtle hag you are” is one of the greatest insults I ever heard. And I sure fucking hope there was fallout for the monster who yelled “Stop smiling like some dumb, little pussies!” (It IS funny but come on, lady!)
I had no idea those pods excited, btw, and now I want to resign from the species.
Excellent, excellent piece as always!
If writing "turtle hag" for YOU is wrong, I don't want to be right! Thank you, best bestie!
Sounds like a hilarious but heinous portal to hell. I am the lucky bitch whose kids never played sports, so I did not have to participate in this scene. My kids were competitive dancers, however, and let me just say, it's kind of a parallel universe...
DANCE MOMS!!!! 😱
Hahaha so funny and brings back memories 🤣🤣
I love this because I have been seriously starting to feel like I was the weirdo - so many sports parents (especially the really loud vocal ones) are completely out. of. their. minds.
Yep. And you start to wonder if THEY are the normal ones and you are not? Should I tell my kid he sucks? Should I hire a chef to make them post-game snacks? Should I get a weather pod????
EXACTLY! Yeah when everyone else is apparently expecting their 9-year-olds to be training like olympians I feel like I'm the bad slacker parent for being like uh, that's....dumb? Anyway what a relief to know that I'm alone!
Very funny, Shelly!
Thank you, Jennifer! Stay tuned for part 2!
Those captions with the assholes in their pods 🤣
I lost my shit once when I was the assistant coach of my sister's high school softball team (I was in college) and the umpire made a horrendously bad call. I got tossed out of the game and had to go sit in the bleachers 😮💨
Awwww but were you sticking up for your sister???? Because that is very sweet! Love that you got sent to the bleachers!
You described my PWS ex-wife so well you may have seen her in one of your games.
😱 does she also make homemade protein balls???
No she can’t cook