This brings back sooooo many elementary school memories!! Our principal had a paddle for discipline, we had so many recesses (no matter the weather) I don’t know how any teaching was done, we could bring HOMEMADE treats to our classroom, detention was spent with our heads facedown on the table to “think about what we’ve done,” my 4th grade teacher threw the chalkboard eraser at students if they were talking (or slap his yardstick on their table), and ohhhhh so much more!! Thank you for this Shelly!!
A PADDLE???? OMG! 😂 How was any of this legal!??! I remember how having to go put your head down on your desk was the most SHAMEFUL thing that ever happened! I got sent to my desk to put my head down once because I was touching people’s hair during nap time.
Our principal had a paddle too. My mom signed some form to opt me out of getting it being used on me though. Holy shit I can’t believe that was a thing then.
Greatly enjoyed this blast from the past! Here in Germany, our kids’ kindergarten is still practicing the Gen X methods. No reading, no math. Just a lot of playing. I’m a fan.
Also…Im sure there are a million Jefferson Elementaries, but would the one in the picture be in Maplewood, NJ?
Germany seems to have the right idea! Kindergarten should be about playing and learning how to share a block and making a friend or two! This particular school was in upstate NY.
I lived in Maplewood for six years! Beautiful town. Family and I left last year when we moved to Germany. My parents live a block away from Tuscan. Small world!
First of all, best title ever. I laughed out loud as soon as I saw it. Then I laughed a whole lot more when I just read this. So funny. Jesus Christ, what was Tara McManus's damage? (Since we're going all Gen X here.) The punching, the crank calling...I'm glad your mother took her down a peg. I still miss my Atari--we were in a VERY serious relationship for a long time. Oh, and thank you for adding that fresh, new motherfucker. I, for one, appreciated it.
Well 7 people immediately unsubscribed so maybe they did NOT appreciate the fresh new motherfucker? But who cares? I write for YOU. Not them. Yeah, Tara had it coming. And when she came back into the classroom SOBBING everyone was like, "whatever, bitch. We're doing fractions." Different time, man.
From a baby boomer - I spent 4th grade doing bomb drills. We all knew the futility of those drills, no way those creaky wooden desk could save us from the Ruskies. Now the bomb drills have transitioned to "active shooter" drills and I wonder how current day students have internalized the risk.
BTW - my seven year old grandson is completely facile in using the singular "they." He doesn't appreciate the grammatical impropriety that I can't assimilate.
My mom would talk about those bomb drills. Horrifying! And equally horrifying is the thought that active shooter drills are a regular part of school prep for students these days. I was traumatized by a fire drill, even when we knew they were coming!
What a way to start my Thursday morning, absolutely love this! My daughter is moving into Year 3 in September and her new school has a podcast studio, A PODCAST STUDIO!!! When I was 7 we had one TV between the whole school that was wheeled in on a trolley when it was our turn to watch a grainy video on phonics. How times change. Thanks for this!
Omg this whole thing was hilarious and I love that you went back and f-bombed it. My main question: Mrs Kalberg had scoliosis?! I don’t know if this was just a rural Ohio 90s thing but back then we all lived in TERROR of scoliosis. At least a couple of times a year we had to line up shirtless in the nurses office and bend over to be checked. I for sure thought scoliosis would be the end of me for many years.
Yes, she legit had scoliosis!!! Did you read DEENIE by Judy Blume??? She had to wear a back brace! THAT along with Toxic Shock Syndrome were my nightmares!!!!!
Ahhh yes! I remember that now. And I’d forgotten about Toxic Shock Syndrome but you’re totally right- I feel like that was presented as something that was HIGHLY likely to happen! You would walk around at school wondering if you were just going to drop over dead because you’d had a tampon in for an extra class period 🤦♀️.
They REALLY made us think we were all about to bite the dust! Do you even know anyone who got TSS!!?? Maybe the people who wrote those warnings should write warnings for vaping.
This is so good, and hilarious. I’m even older, a boomer, so my comparisons are worse. I wondered the temp, and was completely startled when my seven year old granddaughter yelled, “Alexa, tell us the weather!”
Waitaminute...I thought you were writing for me. Stanton? Seriously? I'm crushed!
This was fabulous, Shelly. I was in the last year of the boomer generation, the days when a fraction was a fraction and the teachers tried to kill off all the nerds by making us bang the erasers and inhale all the chalk dust.
This brings back sooooo many elementary school memories!! Our principal had a paddle for discipline, we had so many recesses (no matter the weather) I don’t know how any teaching was done, we could bring HOMEMADE treats to our classroom, detention was spent with our heads facedown on the table to “think about what we’ve done,” my 4th grade teacher threw the chalkboard eraser at students if they were talking (or slap his yardstick on their table), and ohhhhh so much more!! Thank you for this Shelly!!
A PADDLE???? OMG! 😂 How was any of this legal!??! I remember how having to go put your head down on your desk was the most SHAMEFUL thing that ever happened! I got sent to my desk to put my head down once because I was touching people’s hair during nap time.
Our principal had a paddle too. My mom signed some form to opt me out of getting it being used on me though. Holy shit I can’t believe that was a thing then.
There was a form??? And some parents opted IN!?
No the opt in was implied, you had to opt out. So, do nothing and you’re kid was gonna get their ass paddled 🤣
Greatly enjoyed this blast from the past! Here in Germany, our kids’ kindergarten is still practicing the Gen X methods. No reading, no math. Just a lot of playing. I’m a fan.
Also…Im sure there are a million Jefferson Elementaries, but would the one in the picture be in Maplewood, NJ?
Germany seems to have the right idea! Kindergarten should be about playing and learning how to share a block and making a friend or two! This particular school was in upstate NY.
You know Maplewood, Lee? I've got two generations of Tuscan Elementary students in my family!
I lived in Maplewood for six years! Beautiful town. Family and I left last year when we moved to Germany. My parents live a block away from Tuscan. Small world!
Awww this is amazing!!!
First of all, best title ever. I laughed out loud as soon as I saw it. Then I laughed a whole lot more when I just read this. So funny. Jesus Christ, what was Tara McManus's damage? (Since we're going all Gen X here.) The punching, the crank calling...I'm glad your mother took her down a peg. I still miss my Atari--we were in a VERY serious relationship for a long time. Oh, and thank you for adding that fresh, new motherfucker. I, for one, appreciated it.
Well 7 people immediately unsubscribed so maybe they did NOT appreciate the fresh new motherfucker? But who cares? I write for YOU. Not them. Yeah, Tara had it coming. And when she came back into the classroom SOBBING everyone was like, "whatever, bitch. We're doing fractions." Different time, man.
Seriously, 7 people? That’s so weird. Those motherfuckers obviously couldn’t hang. Who needs ‘em.
From a baby boomer - I spent 4th grade doing bomb drills. We all knew the futility of those drills, no way those creaky wooden desk could save us from the Ruskies. Now the bomb drills have transitioned to "active shooter" drills and I wonder how current day students have internalized the risk.
BTW - my seven year old grandson is completely facile in using the singular "they." He doesn't appreciate the grammatical impropriety that I can't assimilate.
My mom would talk about those bomb drills. Horrifying! And equally horrifying is the thought that active shooter drills are a regular part of school prep for students these days. I was traumatized by a fire drill, even when we knew they were coming!
What a way to start my Thursday morning, absolutely love this! My daughter is moving into Year 3 in September and her new school has a podcast studio, A PODCAST STUDIO!!! When I was 7 we had one TV between the whole school that was wheeled in on a trolley when it was our turn to watch a grainy video on phonics. How times change. Thanks for this!
I REMEMBER THE TV TROLLY!!! And it was SO exciting when it got moved into your classroom! But a podcast studio??? Do they have a podcast???
Super fun! Thanks, Middle Aged Lady Mom!!!
Awwww, always, Judi Lynne!
Just Judi Shelly, thanks! 🙂
Omg this whole thing was hilarious and I love that you went back and f-bombed it. My main question: Mrs Kalberg had scoliosis?! I don’t know if this was just a rural Ohio 90s thing but back then we all lived in TERROR of scoliosis. At least a couple of times a year we had to line up shirtless in the nurses office and bend over to be checked. I for sure thought scoliosis would be the end of me for many years.
Yes, she legit had scoliosis!!! Did you read DEENIE by Judy Blume??? She had to wear a back brace! THAT along with Toxic Shock Syndrome were my nightmares!!!!!
Ahhh yes! I remember that now. And I’d forgotten about Toxic Shock Syndrome but you’re totally right- I feel like that was presented as something that was HIGHLY likely to happen! You would walk around at school wondering if you were just going to drop over dead because you’d had a tampon in for an extra class period 🤦♀️.
They REALLY made us think we were all about to bite the dust! Do you even know anyone who got TSS!!?? Maybe the people who wrote those warnings should write warnings for vaping.
This is so good, and hilarious. I’m even older, a boomer, so my comparisons are worse. I wondered the temp, and was completely startled when my seven year old granddaughter yelled, “Alexa, tell us the weather!”
Hahhaha, yes, so true! I guess we just went outside? That's how we knew? My son is always asking Alexa about the weather!
Hahahahah! I love our generation! Why isn't the world a better place when the generations today have learned so much!
Obviously Gen X'ers need more control of things!
I can tell that weather is important to you.
Thanks for such a great read! 😅--A fellow Gen-Xer
Thank you for reading, Darcy!
You had me at that title 🤣
I tried to be a little click-baity. 😉
Hahah!!
Waitaminute...I thought you were writing for me. Stanton? Seriously? I'm crushed!
This was fabulous, Shelly. I was in the last year of the boomer generation, the days when a fraction was a fraction and the teachers tried to kill off all the nerds by making us bang the erasers and inhale all the chalk dust.