26 Comments
Oct 26Liked by Shelly Mazzanoble

LOL! I had a similar experience with a middle eastern lady and threading. She wouldn’t stop and I just sat there with tears flowing down my face! So freaking painful!

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OH NO! That almost makes tears flow down my face! Are they just IN THE ZONE or something???

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I guess so! She seemed offended by my peach fuzz. 😆 Never again.

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Oct 22Liked by Shelly Mazzanoble

Glee pee… 😂

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Oct 12Liked by Shelly Mazzanoble

If all of this is true, I just died laughing 🤣🤣 These little Asian esthetics ladies, I swear they use "no English" to their advantage!!

PS: MALM is an Ikea name. Did you know that?

I'm super looking forward to your feature week or parents later this month! What a great lineup.

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Oh it’s all true. And it’s still the best pedicure/manicure/face waxing I ever had. 4 weeks later and still going strong!

IKEA and I are in a copyright battle. I can’t talk about it. 😂

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LMFAO. I don’t know what planet you’re from but I’d like to relocate to it.

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Hilarious and all too real! I once went back for an eyebrow wax and she was like, "so we're doing your mustache?" Cue me noticing that I have a mustache for the first. Time. Ever.

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author

ok, maybe this is just an upsell ploy! We're already so vulnerable! How can we say no to waxing our mustaches????

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… contemplative resignation… Same. So many times. Just going with the flow in dire situations. 😂

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Oct 11Liked by Shelly Mazzanoble

I just...omg. This is insane, and beyond hilarious. Please don't ever stop writing.

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As long as I'm blessed to attract the kind of people who aggressively wax a stranger's face-- I will!!!!

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Oct 10Liked by Shelly Mazzanoble

I absolutely did laugh at Bertermined! Genius! I was laughing as I clicked on the footnote and then laughed even harder. I also laughed at everything else. (Almost let out a little Glee Pee.) Your story reminded me of something. A looong time ago, my brother felt like he wasn’t getting a close enough shave on his chin, and the contrast with the rest of his face bothered him. So he decided to get his chin waxed. I didn’t find out about this until the deed was already done or I would have kidnapped him until the urge passed. Well, it worked. Those whiskers were GONE. Which, of course, each afternoon contrasted with the rest of his face in a completely different, weirder way. It was basically a soulless patch.

So did you even get the pedicure or did you go home, climb under the covers, and tremble?

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Ok, well hear this-- I FORGOT to mention she waxed my "soul patch." HOW COULD I FORGET THAT???? it was so fast and so little it could have almost been an accident. like a dollop of wax just happened to fall in the very spot a soul patch would be. Hmm.. Odd that I would block that part out. Did your brother learn his lesson? did it ever grow back???

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I can see how that soul patch attack would be so traumatizing that you'd repress it. Have you thought about getting a restraining order against this woman? Technically, she kidnapped and disfigured you. My brother's chin did return to its previous, cavemanesque appearance. As far as I know, that was his only waxing experience. If there have been others, I pray I never find out where they were.

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This was hilarious but pissed me off too. Wax on wax off lady was nervy. I do wish I had eyebrows that could be waxed tho.

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Yeah, yeah, I also waffled between hilarity and pissed off! I would gladly donate my eyebrow hair to make you a little brow toupee!

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Hehe. Locks for love— the eyebrow charity.

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This absolutely cracked me up. I don't know why I thought I was the only person this ever happened to, although your experience was wildly funny and dramatic, while mine was more like this: I took my mother-in-law for a pedicure and I figured I might as well do the same as long as I was there. I explained this to the 70-something-year-old east Indian aesthetician/spa owner. I said, "I'll get a pedicure, too. And maybe I'll have my eyebrows waxed." She stared at me so hard. She didn't even look at my feet—her eyes were boring into my eyebrows like laser beams, and just to get her to stop staring (it was painful, being stared at like that), I said, "I guess I'm getting my eyebrows waxed?" and she said, "Yes, you are." And then she also did my moustache. And it hurt like hell. But she did an excellent job and now she's retired and my eyebrows are a forest again and so is my moustache.

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Oct 10·edited Oct 10Author

This cracked me up!-- I said, "I guess I'm getting my eyebrows waxed?" and she said, "Yes, you are."

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it was pretty funny, in that insulting way to which non-supermodel folks such as i are accustomed.

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Oct 10Liked by Shelly Mazzanoble

This is hilarious Shelly. I mean what an ideal! I have had similar things with my hair - you do this….. etc and my sister can be very persuading sometimes😂

Also I’m so excited to come on board for national parenting week 😬😬😬 Let’s do this! X

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Yessssss, I'm so excited to have you be a part of the FIRST ANNUAL National Parenting Week! Yeah, why do we do this? Other than because an aggressive person MAKES you? :)

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Oct 10Liked by Shelly Mazzanoble

OMG Shelly 🤣🤣 it’s criminal what we let them do to us. I was once given a Brazilian wax by a man in Greece (I thought he was just working on reception!) who then proceeded to wax my toes because he said they were hairy!

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WHAT?????? OMG! I think you may have to put this on your editorial calendar, please!

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Oct 10Liked by Shelly Mazzanoble

I haven’t been able to open the box on this traumatic episode but a bit more therapy and I’ll be ready. 🫠🫠

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