This all seems like sensible advice to me! Except I'm a big fan of separate bedrooms They solve many issues. (And yes, I get to stay in the primary bedroom and he goes to the guest room!)
Hilarious! How is Bart’s hair these days? I lose a lot of hair around the house which really upsets Andrew because the few strands he has left are barely hanging on for dear life. He’s like - oh you’ve got so much SPARE HAIR you just drop it all over the place like it’s nothing - MUST BE NICE! Well, yes. It is nice. After all I’ve suffered through years of periods, childbirth and soon perimenopause - let me have my abundant, wasteful hair for a while longer!
Please tell me, how do I get my boyfriend to put his dirty clothes inside the laundry bin rather than on the floor right next to it? We're not married, but close enough! :-P
Um ok this is GOLD! Uptown Funk, Blake vs. Justin, Forever Young, other references that made me snort laugh at my desk that I can’t remember now bc my middle aged brain is a sieve. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I loved every bit of this! You are going to save so many marriages with this rant, I mean err... sound advice. Skip the unnecessary degree and start taking on clients.
Hilariously relatable except my husband knows better than to mention a word about my elastic or drawstring waist pants. He also keeps his mouth shut about my making-a-run-for-it hair, although he does constantly pluck it off the back of my (sweat) shirt.
Ok well that's the right thing to do! Quiet grooming vs being all grossed out about it! It's basically dental floss! Why's he so upset about finding it on his toothbrush??? 🤣
I am a person who takes pride on calculating down to the minute how long it will take us to get through the airport, adding 20 minutes on top of that for buffer and then gloating when we board because I timed it so perfectly. 🤣 my husband is not quite a four hour early person, but he does like to leave more wiggle room than me. It is very effective strategy for doing it. His way is to persuade me by telling me that we can grab a drink at the bar and I can go to the bookstore. I’m easily manipulated!
Thanks for the laugh this morning - I needed that. I don’t complain about Mr.M’s toothpaste globs and he’s stopped complaining about the castings of long hair that choke the drains regularly. 😇
I can’t believe you’re giving away this advice for free. It’s gold!
“…two pop culture podcasters with really bad vocal fry trying to explain the Blake vs. Justin legal drama.” I should be mad at you for putting that racket in my head—I can literally hear them—but I’m laughing too hard.
This all seems like sensible advice to me! Except I'm a big fan of separate bedrooms They solve many issues. (And yes, I get to stay in the primary bedroom and he goes to the guest room!)
YOU HAVE SEPARATE BEDROOMS??? I thought that was the stuff of urban legend! I’m still trying to get separate duvet covers!
Yes! For over 5 years. And we love it! (And, yes, each other)
Yep we are pretty much here. My partner is a SHOCKING snorer. I’m pretty sure separate bedrooms is the only thing that’s prevented a murder.
Hilarious! How is Bart’s hair these days? I lose a lot of hair around the house which really upsets Andrew because the few strands he has left are barely hanging on for dear life. He’s like - oh you’ve got so much SPARE HAIR you just drop it all over the place like it’s nothing - MUST BE NICE! Well, yes. It is nice. After all I’ve suffered through years of periods, childbirth and soon perimenopause - let me have my abundant, wasteful hair for a while longer!
SPARE HAIR! ha hahahahah! Well again, he could sweep up your spare hair and maybe make himself a little hat with it. It's sweet really.
He’s going to love this suggestion. A small wig made of my hair to cover his bald spot 😉
Dear MALM,
Please tell me, how do I get my boyfriend to put his dirty clothes inside the laundry bin rather than on the floor right next to it? We're not married, but close enough! :-P
The longer you are together, the further his clothes get from the laundry bin! My husband's clothes have been found in the HALLWAY!
Put one of those indoor basketball hoops on the laundry bin. That is what I did for my teenage son and it worked like a charm!
Brilliant!!!!
Hahah, this cracked me up! Hopefully it also works on men in their 30s. Lol.
That is a SIN! But not surprising. Lol
Um ok this is GOLD! Uptown Funk, Blake vs. Justin, Forever Young, other references that made me snort laugh at my desk that I can’t remember now bc my middle aged brain is a sieve. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Nothing pleases me more than knowing someone out there is snort laughing at these references!
Thank you for sharing your middle age lady mom wisdom!
I am here for you.
I loved every bit of this! You are going to save so many marriages with this rant, I mean err... sound advice. Skip the unnecessary degree and start taking on clients.
Hahaha! I would love to take on clients! Pro bono even! (considering I'm not licensed to practice, you know, anywhere.)
“I have a zipper” 🤐😆
hahahaha that emoji!
Hilariously relatable except my husband knows better than to mention a word about my elastic or drawstring waist pants. He also keeps his mouth shut about my making-a-run-for-it hair, although he does constantly pluck it off the back of my (sweat) shirt.
Ok well that's the right thing to do! Quiet grooming vs being all grossed out about it! It's basically dental floss! Why's he so upset about finding it on his toothbrush??? 🤣
“The Change”….sounds like the title of M Night Shyamalan’s next flick
The vowel renewal is any marriage’s last hurrah as it circles the drain
Hmmm if The Change was a M Night movie, what do you think the big twist at the end would be???
Great question. Trying to stay on brand, after completing ‘the change’ the protagonist must turn into an alien?
Or a murderer??
Turn into??? I feel like we're already there... on a good day!
Damn, wish I'd been able to read this advice before my marriage went belly up and we got divorced - it might've saved a lot of heartache 😂
Was it her hair? Is that what did you in?? 🤣
Among other things. I also love 'Forever Young' (btw) and she accused me of mansplaining everything, but I swear, I NEVER did that! 🤣
I am a person who takes pride on calculating down to the minute how long it will take us to get through the airport, adding 20 minutes on top of that for buffer and then gloating when we board because I timed it so perfectly. 🤣 my husband is not quite a four hour early person, but he does like to leave more wiggle room than me. It is very effective strategy for doing it. His way is to persuade me by telling me that we can grab a drink at the bar and I can go to the bookstore. I’m easily manipulated!
My two favorite things to do in an airport!
Thanks for the laugh this morning - I needed that. I don’t complain about Mr.M’s toothpaste globs and he’s stopped complaining about the castings of long hair that choke the drains regularly. 😇
I can’t believe you’re giving away this advice for free. It’s gold!
“…two pop culture podcasters with really bad vocal fry trying to explain the Blake vs. Justin legal drama.” I should be mad at you for putting that racket in my head—I can literally hear them—but I’m laughing too hard.