49 Comments
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Chris Fehr's avatar

Lol

You won’t get the options until the marketers count enough of you buying them.

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Tan Rosado's avatar

LMAO. Yes, we ride at 9pm. 😜or 8, yeah, 8 is better.

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Julia's avatar

😂😂😂 brilliant! I actually buy some of those men products for myself! Don’t tell 🤫

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

I might have used some of that Viking exfoliator myself. Your secret is safe with me. :)

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Liz Alterman's avatar

Hilarious from start to finish! Thank you, I needed this laugh today! : ) The rose-scented shaft! Amen!

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Sam(antha) M. Burns's avatar

Yes!!! What she said! Loved everything about this piece. As a lady-farmer, those soft caressing soaps just don't do it for me. Give ME some Swagger! I could do with a good Dragonblast! And who doesn't need more Timber in their lives!? Am I right, girls?😆 Thank you for this insightful writing!!!

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Chris Stanton's avatar

This may be my favorite thing you’ve written on here. I’m sitting here laughing out loud like an idiot. (As opposed to my usual habit of sitting here quietly like an idiot.) There are waaaaay too many amazing lines to quote, but Big-Balled Komono Dragon has earned a special place in my heart. Swaggy Draggy too. Electricity and baseball cleats. I’m just going to copy and paste the whole essay here, okay?

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

I am delighted to know that your heart is big enough to accommodate a Big-Balled Komodo Dragon! It's hard to find them good homes because, well, for space reasons.

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Sri Juneja's avatar

Hysterical. Need to send this to my husband ASAP as he lathers himself in caveman oil.

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

Oooh yes! The scent of woolly mammoth and FIRE is irresistible!

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Jen's avatar

😂😂😂 I’m riding with you but I need to be home by 9.30 tops.

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

You know, there's no reason we can't have a nice afternoon ride and be home by dinner.

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Jen's avatar

Perfect. Ride first, swagger in pjs.

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Alexander's avatar

Haha! It is crazy how different it is with the marketing and what scents are experienced or considered as masculine or feminine! I personally don't use almost any products but if you actually make this one I want him in my bathroom NOW: Big-Balled Komodo Dragon.

But dew drop cucumber lavender rose moonlight antiage sounds like a wonderful treat aswell 🤔 Guess that's why I prefer scentless. Easiest choice is Alexander's Skin. Maybe I can market that as a product for those who have a hard time to decide.

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

You could totally market Alexander's Skin if you put a BIG BALLED KOMODO DRAGON on the packaging! (See what I did there?) Even better if it's unscented! Take that Beauty Industry!

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Alexander's avatar

I wonder hesitantly if that was some kind of compliment to my manly pride? I feel myself a dew drop more confident and strong now since being mentioned in the same sentence as a lizard with a heavy floor scraping scrotum 🤩 I would buy this soap!

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

Hahahhahhahhahhahhaha!!!! Yes-- take the compliment!

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Alexander's avatar

😂😂😂

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Paulette Bodeman's avatar

This is hilarious.

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

Thank you, Paulette!

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Saralyn Fosnight's avatar

🤪🤪🤪🤩🤣🤣😂😅😂 There really aren’t enough laughing emojis for me to express my enjoyment of this piece! You are funny!!!

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

Thank you for reading, Saralyn!

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Amanda Rose Fadely's avatar

I carried a fibroid ridden uterus the size of a grapefruit in me for years, with monthly pain equivalent to labor contractions, until they finally cut it out of my abdomen through a five inch incision during a four hour surgery.

And MEN get the “Swagger” body wash??

I dissent. 🙋🏻‍♀️

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

EXACTLY! You know who has swagger??? YOU have swagger, Rose!

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Karen Smiley's avatar

Me too!!

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Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

Shelly, I'll come back to comment tomorrow. I'm currently lying on the floor having a laugh-stroke 🤣🤣🤣

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

Just be ready to ride at 9pm!

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Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

Sorry, I was in bed 🤣🤣

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

I think we’ll try a lunchtime ride!

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Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

I can pack some sandwiches 🤣

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Katharine Strange's avatar

Oh the marketing of it all! My tween sons will now ONLY use OLD SPICE because it's MANLY. But they don't sell it at Costco, so I've been secretly refilling their Old Spice with Dove body wash. They haven't noticed yet!!!!

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

THAT IS BRILLIANT!!! I bet they smell lovely and have nice, soft skin!

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Christina's avatar

My 10th grade daughter uses Old Spice bc she likes the names and packaging. I use my hubs deodorant bc I do not want - and have absolutely never wanted, like ever one single time in my entire life - my armpits to smell like cucumber lace or lavender pearls or or pumpkin latte or wtf ever.

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Christina's avatar

Right?!?! I mean… I like cucumber… to eat. What man walked into conference room one day and said “Hot damn boys - I’ve got it! The ladies want to smell like VEGETABLES!!!” 💡☠️

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

Hysterical! I want to do a skit of this very meeting!

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

CUCUMBER!! Always with the cucumber!!!

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CynthiaCM's avatar

My husband and I both use gender-neutral stuff. He's all about Ivory and I use a Montreal based brand called Attitude which has a line for people with sensitive skin. There's nothing "man" about my husband's shower gel nor mine. I mean, unless I buy lavender-scented gel/body wash, of course. I don't like the woodsy smell guys' products often have and am kind of neutral to the lavender or vanilla scents women-centric products use. My favourite is an oatmeal and goat milk bar though. It smells like...er...breakfast.

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

I also love lavender! Especially when it's paired with vanilla! Hahahah, "smells like breakfast." That is so true!

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