Love the task advice too. My husband took over taking kids to the dentist and scheduling appointments etc. (a task I truly hated) and I am happy to be free of managing any aspect of it.
Right…and it’s the research. It’s not just taking the dog to the vet, it’s making the appt, getting the prescribed meds, making the follow-up appt, etc. Have you seen that card deck by Eve Rodsky, where every task gets a card, and the partners divide them up? Eye-popping!
No, I haven't! I'll check it out though! What you describe is exactly why most moms just do it themselves. Takes too long to show someone else. Sigh...
I like that specific tasks fall to one parent i.e there are certain dad jobs we have which does mean I mostly don’t have to worry. Eg bins, cleaning kids teeth and bed and bath time, in these I relinquish control but if that could extend to booking dentist appointments and noticing when the toothpaste and bin bags had run out I’d be grateful for that too 🙌🏻
OMG the "noticing" of things! That's what I always ask: Why am I the only one to notice a spill on the floor or the dog is running out of food or the kid doesn't have a lunch! It would be so helpful if these things were noticed and addressed right away!
Shannon, THAT is great advice! "Learned helplessness." I'm definitely on that path too. I catch myself doing things that they COULD/SHOULD be doing but in my head it's like "GET IT DONE NOW!!!" It's easier in the short-term but then we get stuck in this cycle and imaginary therapy sessions and then all the RAGE!!
Shelly- That gif on the slide though! 😂
I’m sure that little girl is OK though right? 🤣
Love the task advice too. My husband took over taking kids to the dentist and scheduling appointments etc. (a task I truly hated) and I am happy to be free of managing any aspect of it.
Oh that's a really good task to be rid of!
Great advice here! Take the task and own it, and that means from start to finish.
THAT is the key, Mary! It has to be completed!
Right…and it’s the research. It’s not just taking the dog to the vet, it’s making the appt, getting the prescribed meds, making the follow-up appt, etc. Have you seen that card deck by Eve Rodsky, where every task gets a card, and the partners divide them up? Eye-popping!
No, I haven't! I'll check it out though! What you describe is exactly why most moms just do it themselves. Takes too long to show someone else. Sigh...
So interesting hearing a dad’s pov.
I like that specific tasks fall to one parent i.e there are certain dad jobs we have which does mean I mostly don’t have to worry. Eg bins, cleaning kids teeth and bed and bath time, in these I relinquish control but if that could extend to booking dentist appointments and noticing when the toothpaste and bin bags had run out I’d be grateful for that too 🙌🏻
OMG the "noticing" of things! That's what I always ask: Why am I the only one to notice a spill on the floor or the dog is running out of food or the kid doesn't have a lunch! It would be so helpful if these things were noticed and addressed right away!
Shannon, THAT is great advice! "Learned helplessness." I'm definitely on that path too. I catch myself doing things that they COULD/SHOULD be doing but in my head it's like "GET IT DONE NOW!!!" It's easier in the short-term but then we get stuck in this cycle and imaginary therapy sessions and then all the RAGE!!