I remember before our first kid was born, people kept telling us to “get your sleep now.” As if that’s helpful. As if sleep is an account balance with deposits you make regularly so you can draw on them during lean times. The night the kid is born—boom! All that stored-up sleep is wiped out.
Also: can I hire you to be our party planner? You seem to have a gift!
It would be amazing if you could store up sleep and use it later! And for baby showers, people could register for more sleep! I could not plan a party for someone else. The essence of my anxiety would be all over that birthday cake!
Absolute GOLD. Also, terrifying. My eldest just turned 10 and his friends have started riding to each other’s houses. The amount of food they eat when they come here is sending me bankrupt. Yesterday I realised I’d reached middle age when I yelled at them - “Go to someone else’s house and eat all their food!!” I see this will only get worse (and more wasteful)
Oh yes. Worse and worse. And I realize I brought some of this on myself by cultivating an A+ snack cabinet, stocked fridge, and minimal oversight to what is getting consumed.
This made me laugh so hard!! Wait for the 20's... Suddenly they love you again!! But they still grab your phone out of your hand when you're trying to do something, because, "OMG, mom, that's not how you do it!"
Did you actually interview my son’s swim coach for the tournament planning dialogue?? 🎯 Also, will there be a part two: how to maintain your self esteem when everything you do/say/think/look like/want/don’t want/feel is WRONG, also stupid and embarrassing, jeez Mom. Take it from this parent of a full teen, those days are rapidly approaching and they are SO FUN.
You’ve done a great service to many with this, Bestie. I’m dying that some kid tried to get you to say “come in my butt.” I don’t know whether I should feel impressed or if I want him sent directly to juvie. And your paragraph of profanity…I’m positively giddy. But I’m also a shitidiot, so take that for what it’s worth.
The shocking thing is that it wasn’t even my kid who tried to get me to say it. And they all just stared at me with these big hopeful eyes like little cartoon puppies. “Please make her say come in my butt. Please make her say come in my butt!”
I told my tween daughter that she was too old for a big birthday party and that we would celebrate together as a family. Therefore I was surprised on her birthday when kids starting showing up at the door carrying a present. Turns out that my daughter had quietly organized her own party! I probably rustled up some sort of snack, but they were on their own. Best party ever!
My kid is turning 6 and the party pressure is already too much. We've done massive parties since he was 2 (tried to make up for him never doing anything in his first year thanks to the pandemic, overdid it and got stuck in an expensive cycle.)
This year he's got one super close best friend who we're taking on a grand day out instead of throwing him a ball. He says he's happy with that but IS HE REALLY? OR AM I SCARRING HIM FOR LIFE?
PS sleep when the baby sleeps is only bad advice with your first, by your third you'll sleep f'ing anywhere, clean house and decorum be damned
Has caused many parents to get stuck in an expensive and expansive cycle! We have done the big day out with one friend, and it was a huge success! Good luck!
Oof I am getting a head start with my 5 year old. I routinely feel like I need a sensory deprivation chamber by 5pm on days where she’s at home. And you’re telling me it gets worse?! Hang on, researching underground bunker rentals with a 15-year-lease, brb.
“Sleep when the baby sleeps.” 🤦♂️
I remember before our first kid was born, people kept telling us to “get your sleep now.” As if that’s helpful. As if sleep is an account balance with deposits you make regularly so you can draw on them during lean times. The night the kid is born—boom! All that stored-up sleep is wiped out.
Also: can I hire you to be our party planner? You seem to have a gift!
It would be amazing if you could store up sleep and use it later! And for baby showers, people could register for more sleep! I could not plan a party for someone else. The essence of my anxiety would be all over that birthday cake!
Absolute GOLD. Also, terrifying. My eldest just turned 10 and his friends have started riding to each other’s houses. The amount of food they eat when they come here is sending me bankrupt. Yesterday I realised I’d reached middle age when I yelled at them - “Go to someone else’s house and eat all their food!!” I see this will only get worse (and more wasteful)
Oh yes. Worse and worse. And I realize I brought some of this on myself by cultivating an A+ snack cabinet, stocked fridge, and minimal oversight to what is getting consumed.
Douche canoe is vastly underutilized in the lexicon of America
Not in this house! 🤣
🤣🤣
This made me laugh so hard!! Wait for the 20's... Suddenly they love you again!! But they still grab your phone out of your hand when you're trying to do something, because, "OMG, mom, that's not how you do it!"
Did you actually interview my son’s swim coach for the tournament planning dialogue?? 🎯 Also, will there be a part two: how to maintain your self esteem when everything you do/say/think/look like/want/don’t want/feel is WRONG, also stupid and embarrassing, jeez Mom. Take it from this parent of a full teen, those days are rapidly approaching and they are SO FUN.
Nooooooo I'm not ready for that!!!!! I know it's imminent. I already see signs. But I'm scared for it!
Just think of it as fodder for the Stack
THAT IS BRILLIANT!
You’ve done a great service to many with this, Bestie. I’m dying that some kid tried to get you to say “come in my butt.” I don’t know whether I should feel impressed or if I want him sent directly to juvie. And your paragraph of profanity…I’m positively giddy. But I’m also a shitidiot, so take that for what it’s worth.
The shocking thing is that it wasn’t even my kid who tried to get me to say it. And they all just stared at me with these big hopeful eyes like little cartoon puppies. “Please make her say come in my butt. Please make her say come in my butt!”
God, I wish there was a video of this!
I told my tween daughter that she was too old for a big birthday party and that we would celebrate together as a family. Therefore I was surprised on her birthday when kids starting showing up at the door carrying a present. Turns out that my daughter had quietly organized her own party! I probably rustled up some sort of snack, but they were on their own. Best party ever!
Wow! Now that is GOALS! Can I hire her?
"BUT MY INCOME BACKWARDS" LOL I'm dead hahaha
Yep. That conversation was the impetus for this post. Very clever, kids!
I'm gonna outsmart my kids by using it first. Thanks for the leverage.
Omg if only I were that smart!
My kid is turning 6 and the party pressure is already too much. We've done massive parties since he was 2 (tried to make up for him never doing anything in his first year thanks to the pandemic, overdid it and got stuck in an expensive cycle.)
This year he's got one super close best friend who we're taking on a grand day out instead of throwing him a ball. He says he's happy with that but IS HE REALLY? OR AM I SCARRING HIM FOR LIFE?
PS sleep when the baby sleeps is only bad advice with your first, by your third you'll sleep f'ing anywhere, clean house and decorum be damned
Has caused many parents to get stuck in an expensive and expansive cycle! We have done the big day out with one friend, and it was a huge success! Good luck!
Pleased to hear it, will report back!
Oof I am getting a head start with my 5 year old. I routinely feel like I need a sensory deprivation chamber by 5pm on days where she’s at home. And you’re telling me it gets worse?! Hang on, researching underground bunker rentals with a 15-year-lease, brb.
Maybe just different and not worse. They definitely leave you alone more, which is great but when they are around it’s pretty wild!
I'm not sure what you are trying to communicate with the Gatorade story?
Stop buying Gatorade. Or keep buying it to enable this behavior. I'm sorry but I don't understand 🥺