1974. Second year of medical school. Time to learn how to do pelvic exams. Two women from somewhere (?) had volunteered to allow us to learn how to do this exam on them. It was weird. My "instructor" said, "No, my ovary is a little more to the right." I was uncomfortable then, and still am when I think about it.
Oh wow, I never thought about how doctors "practice" these things! I remember having friends in massage school and I was the first one to raise my hand to volunteer, but I don't think I could do this-- even for science!
"When the doctor finally arrives they’ll ask you questions like when was your last period. This question will be harder to answer than being asked to describe gravity according to the principles of quantum mechanics."
Just wait. They still ask YEARS later! That's quantum mechanics + calculus + General AND Special Relativity!
Pap “smear” DOES sound sexier. Pap test sounds like it could be a hearing exam. “Push the button whenever you hear the pap.” On a similar and yet not at all similar subject, tell me what you make of this. At my last doctor’s appointment, he inspected my talented Mr. Ripley with no glove on, and then didn’t wash his hands afterward. Just kept on going, even taking out his pen at one point to write something down. Please tell me if that’s as crazy as I think it is. I need to find a new doctor, right? If it matters, he didn’t even buy me dinner.
I would have responded sooner but my hands were shaking so hard from laughing but also holding covering my mouth so I wouldn't retch. YES, you need a new doctor! And your doctor needs a new pen! OMG, never borrow a pen or #2 pencil from a doctor!!! As my mom used to say, NO GLOVE, NO LOVE. I think THIS is what she was talking about!
It was literally all I could think about for the rest of the exam. He could have told me I had a tumor the size of a tangerine on the back of my head and I wouldn’t have heard it because I was too busy trying to make sense out of what just happened. Did he somehow just forget? Did I graduate to a new level of more personalized service? Is he going to want to shake my hand? Should I tip him? It was a dark day.
"Like the Cheesecake Factory, there’s a lot on the menu when you visit your gynecologist, but let’s talk about your routine visit." New slogan for planned parenthood?
Also, I have to go for my first mammogram next year, boooooooo
"Like the Cheesecake Factory, there’s a lot on the menu when you visit your gynecologist, but let’s talk about your routine visit." New slogan for planned parenthood?
Also, I have to go for my first mammogram next year, boooooooo
Oh my god I’m laughing so hard! The speculum!! What a torture device. I did finally find a gynecologist that uses plastic ones instead of metal ones so I guess that’s something.
I enjoyed your humor. Thank you for your candor about these crazy (important) exams we endure.
Thank you for reading, Rachel!
1974. Second year of medical school. Time to learn how to do pelvic exams. Two women from somewhere (?) had volunteered to allow us to learn how to do this exam on them. It was weird. My "instructor" said, "No, my ovary is a little more to the right." I was uncomfortable then, and still am when I think about it.
Oh wow, I never thought about how doctors "practice" these things! I remember having friends in massage school and I was the first one to raise my hand to volunteer, but I don't think I could do this-- even for science!
To be complete, we male med students learned how to do prostate exams on each other. Not sure how the female med students learned this.
"When the doctor finally arrives they’ll ask you questions like when was your last period. This question will be harder to answer than being asked to describe gravity according to the principles of quantum mechanics."
Just wait. They still ask YEARS later! That's quantum mechanics + calculus + General AND Special Relativity!
NOOOOOOOO! If the answer ended in YEARS last time they asked, put in my chart STOP ASKING THIS DRIED UP HUSK ABOUT HER PERIODS!
When your answer starts with "Well, I know it was in this millenium," I think we're done, right?
Pap “smear” DOES sound sexier. Pap test sounds like it could be a hearing exam. “Push the button whenever you hear the pap.” On a similar and yet not at all similar subject, tell me what you make of this. At my last doctor’s appointment, he inspected my talented Mr. Ripley with no glove on, and then didn’t wash his hands afterward. Just kept on going, even taking out his pen at one point to write something down. Please tell me if that’s as crazy as I think it is. I need to find a new doctor, right? If it matters, he didn’t even buy me dinner.
Oh Chris, I'm dying over here!!
several times today "my talented mr. ripley" popped into my head. so now I think we quality for group therapy?
I’m still processing it two years later, Amanda!
And now, so too are we all. 😂
🤣 🤣🤣
I would have responded sooner but my hands were shaking so hard from laughing but also holding covering my mouth so I wouldn't retch. YES, you need a new doctor! And your doctor needs a new pen! OMG, never borrow a pen or #2 pencil from a doctor!!! As my mom used to say, NO GLOVE, NO LOVE. I think THIS is what she was talking about!
It was literally all I could think about for the rest of the exam. He could have told me I had a tumor the size of a tangerine on the back of my head and I wouldn’t have heard it because I was too busy trying to make sense out of what just happened. Did he somehow just forget? Did I graduate to a new level of more personalized service? Is he going to want to shake my hand? Should I tip him? It was a dark day.
"Like the Cheesecake Factory, there’s a lot on the menu when you visit your gynecologist, but let’s talk about your routine visit." New slogan for planned parenthood?
Also, I have to go for my first mammogram next year, boooooooo
Well at least now you’re prepared for it! Love the slogan idea!
"Like the Cheesecake Factory, there’s a lot on the menu when you visit your gynecologist, but let’s talk about your routine visit." New slogan for planned parenthood?
Also, I have to go for my first mammogram next year, boooooooo
This is so freakishly accurate, I'm sobbing and laughing at the same time thankyouverymuch
Sobbing and laughing is what happens at these appointments!
Hilarious and so true! Thank you!!
Oh my god I’m laughing so hard! The speculum!! What a torture device. I did finally find a gynecologist that uses plastic ones instead of metal ones so I guess that’s something.